Haven't written anything in a long time. Can't say I've been particularly busy, I certainly haven't. Quit school a few months ago because I just cannot get out of bed and get panic attacks every time I even think about going there. So now I'm a patient in a mental institution which is SUPER FUN. No, actually it isn't bad. And I really do need it. It's a pretty nice place and I love the safe environment so much. It's also really good for me to have healthy meals everyday because god knows my eating habits are just sick. Welcome to the world of a crazy bitch with an eating disorder.
I'm having a lot of trouble waking up around six every morning, because I have big issues with sleeping. What don't I have big issues with? Anyway, I haven't managed to drag my ass to the hospital even once this week, which sucks. Very determined to make it there tomorrow. I like the group therapy sessions and the peaceful atmosphere the place offers. The staff is really, really nice and they make me feel like they actually care.
It's a little bit tough to get used to people (as in the other patients) being so antisocial. I always thought I was socially awkward and insanely shy, but dear god... These people will literally sit in the "livingroom area" for hours and stare at walls. When it's mealtime, they will silently walk to the dining room, get their food and continue staring quietly, altough they'll usually switch the object from walls to their plates. Now, I have social anxiety, so I get that it's hard to talk to people. But I really wasn't prepared for this level of silence from everyone. I've begun bringing a book with me when I go so at least I don't have to stare at those goddamn walls.
Aside from the mental institution my life hasn't been all that exciting lately. I've been drinking a lot, which is normal. That's really all I do with my friends. The rest of my time I spend home, sleeping or watching TV series from my laptop. Mostly sleeping. I sleep around 17 hours a day. That isn't good, I know, but I'm just so tired.
Well, time to go now. I'm trying to go to sleep soon so waking up for the loony bin won't be so hard tomorrow.
